I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
A plate of sandwiches walks into a bar. The barman says “we don’t serve food”.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
Cooking is bad for my anxiety.
I had to throw away my pressure cooker.
I came home and found my wife naked, except for a porcelain mug on each breast.
She said she was a t-cup.
My biggest problem with having three square meals a day is that all my plates are round.
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