What's the best kind of pan to make sushi in?
Japan.
Why did Don Corleone send back the plate for his coffee cup?
Someone gave him a saucer he could not reuse.
What do you call someone who labels jars of body parts?
An organiser.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
I was serving my friend a roast in my tiny shoebox apartment. He boasted that he could cook the same dish in a mere two hours...
But I cooked it in a minute flat.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
What did the home owner say to the mug shot when he put it up on his wall
"You've been framed!"
How do you make garlic toast? Lift your glass and talk about the wonderful things it has done.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
I was at a party last night, waiting my turn to get to the punch bowl.
Everyone was being very polite, patient and not barging in. I thought to myself, "At last...
a decent punchline"
What side of the mug is the handle on?
The outside.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It is an extremely rare dish order.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
My biggest problem with having three square meals a day is that all my plates are round.
Why did i murder the woman who served me a glass of wine?
Because i wanted tequila.
What did the glass say to the window?
"I'm in pane."
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
Wife is frying a lot of mushrooms in a tiny pan.
Me: Doesn't look like you have mushroom left in there.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and the sizzlin' steak platter.
"Here's your steak," the bartender says. "Be careful, that plate is really hot."
"Oh, no worries," the guy replies. "I'm not really attracted to plates."
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
My kid was having trouble with the peanut butter because the jar was too deep and the knife was too short
I tried to help, but I couldn’t get to the bottom of it
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
My girlfriend was arrested for assault using an iron skillet
We'll see how this pans out but I think she's fried.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
Justice is a dish best served cold
Because otherwise it would be justwater.
What did the plate say to the refrigerator?
"Stay cool. Dinner's on me"
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
What do you call a stolen jar?
A free mason.
What do you call a monk who steals a grilled cheese sandwich right off the griddle?
Out of the frying pan and into the friar.
My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl...
I said I didn't even know he could play.
As my wife opened the cabinet, a coffee cup crashed on her head.
It's awful to see someone you love get mugged.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
Be careful what you say about those plates in the cabinet.
They're stacked.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
I thought I checkmated my dad with my new glass set in chess...
But he saw right through it
My bedroom now has a stained glass window....
A pigeon just flew right into it.
My son took his jar collection way too far
When I came home from work I thought the house was robbed because the door was ajar.
I used to be part of a ten pin league. Our team name was 'Bowl Movement'.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
I left my job at the Chinese restaurant and took my favourite frying pan, until I heard the owner yell...
"Don’t wok away from me!"
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