Ireland is pitcher perfect.
When does a leprechaun cross the road?
Just like everyone - when it's green!
I saw some leprechauns putting coins in the vending machine but in vain. They were using lepre-coins.
Do you be-leaf in magic?
Jameson on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s worth a shot.
In Ireland, they really like to ham it up.
What kind of person would sell someone a sham-rock?
A lepre-con!
Ireland always leaves me wanting Moher.
I’m a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. It’s Leprechronic.
I’m feelin’ green.
A trip to Ireland is quite a cliffhanger.
What do you call a big Irish spider?
A Paddy long legs.
Be-leaf me, you look great in green.
Did you hear about the Irish potato that immigrated?
He became a French fry.
What are the best sandwiches to serve at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Paddy melts!
In Ireland, when the cows are in the road it’s udder chaos.
What kind of spells do leprechauns use?
Lucky Charms!
Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe?
Its population is always Dublin.
I am happy that the arrangements for St Patrick's day are going great. The large bottles of green soda look pitcher-perfect.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
This weekend, I will watch a new Irish movie based on a marathon runner who only ate potatoes. It is called Starch Trek.
Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too expensive to fly and too long to walk.
What do you say if you lose a game on St. Patrick's Day?
Game clover.
Just look, it’s the Trifle Tower
Why don’t leprechauns run?
They’d rather jig than jog.
Irish I had better jokes.
Are people jealous of the Irish?
Yeah, they’re green with envy.
St. Patrick’s is all about the pursuit of hoppiness!
Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaved clover?
You don’t want to press your luck.
When I went to my favorite Irish cafe after years, I felt deja brew all over again.
Why did Saint Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
They were causing mass hiss-teria!
Ireland is a little lamb-boyant.
How was the lepre-con caught?
By an under-clover police officer!
What do you call a fake Irish stone?
A shamrock.
Remember, Irish puns on St. Patrick's Day don't just shame you. They Seamus all.
March 17 is near, and I am so excited about it. The clover it gets, the more excited I become.
Did you hear about the Irishman that drank 100 liters of stout in just 30 minutes?
They’re calling it a Guinness World Record.
I told my friend that our old school friend is coming to attend St Patrick's feast. She was surprised. She asked, "O'Reilly?"
How can Irish people tell when it’s summer?
The rain gets warmer.
The food here is quite so-fish-ticated.
Don’t worry, Moher pictures are coming.
What type of music should you play at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Sham-rock!
I’m a clover, not a fighter.
It ain’t over till it’s clover.
Irish food is legen-dairy.
My grandma is 80% Irish.
People call her Iris.
Why did the two Irish men fight amongst themselves?
They can’t find any other worthy opponents.
What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day?
BOOs.
Visitors are Doolin over these gorgeous views.
What is it called when two Irish couples go out on a date?
Dublin.
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