My grandma is 80% Irish.
People call her Iris.
You’re the cutest clover in the patch.
What do you call a big Irish spider?
A Paddy long legs.
Why don’t leprechauns run?
They’d rather jig than jog.
What are the best sandwiches to serve at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Paddy melts!
I told my friend that our old school friend is coming to attend St Patrick's feast. She was surprised. She asked, "O'Reilly?"
Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
They’re always a little short.
Irish cuisine is stew-pendous.
What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day?
BOOs.
Why did the two Irish men fight amongst themselves?
They can’t find any other worthy opponents.
I’m Dublin down on what I said before.
Ireland is pitcher perfect.
What type of music should you play at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Sham-rock!
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
How can Irish people tell when it’s summer?
The rain gets warmer.
A trip to Ireland always lifts my spirits.
How was the lepre-con caught?
By an under-clover police officer!
Irish I had better jokes.
This weekend, I will watch a new Irish movie based on a marathon runner who only ate potatoes. It is called Starch Trek.
Did you hear about the Irish potato that immigrated?
He became a French fry.
St. Patrick’s is all about the pursuit of hoppiness!
Ireland always leaves me wanting Moher.
A trip to Ireland is quite a cliffhanger.
What do you call a fake Irish stone?
A shamrock.
I’m feelin’ green.
Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?
They’re really into green living.
Don’t worry, Moher pictures are coming.
What kind of person would sell someone a sham-rock?
A lepre-con!
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
What's Irish and stays out all night?
Paddy O'Furniture.
Did you hear about the Irishman that drank 100 liters of stout in just 30 minutes?
They’re calling it a Guinness World Record.
March 17 is near, and I am so excited about it. The clover it gets, the more excited I become.
Ireland is a little lamb-boyant.
Are people jealous of the Irish?
Yeah, they’re green with envy.
In Ireland, when the cows are in the road it’s udder chaos.
I’m ready to shamrock and roll.
Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaved clover?
You don’t want to press your luck.
The food here is quite so-fish-ticated.
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