What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
I have a heart-on for you.
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
What does a pirate with heart failures need?
Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
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