She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
You must be a defibrillator because you are sending shocks directly to my heart.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
You’ve stolen my heart. I hereby place you under cardiac arrest.
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
Honey! I know this can be a bit cheesy, but you will always have a big pizza my heart.
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.
What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
I heard about a football player who had a heart attack and collapsed on top of his opponent.
He was dead on a rival.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
I have a heart-on for you.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
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