Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
I lub dub you with all my heart.
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
What does a pirate with heart failures need?
Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
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