My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.
I heard about a football player who had a heart attack and collapsed on top of his opponent.
He was dead on a rival.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
I have a heart-on for you.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
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