I can heartly wait to see you again.
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
I heard about a football player who had a heart attack and collapsed on top of his opponent.
He was dead on a rival.
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery
But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
I have a heart-on for you.
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
You’ve stolen my heart. I hereby place you under cardiac arrest.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
What has a head but no body, a heart but no blood, leaves but no branches and grows without wood?
Lettuce
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
I lub dub you with all my heart.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
What does a pirate with heart failures need?
Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
What did the vampire say to the vampire hunter that missed his heart.
Well wasnt that an unfortunate missed-stake.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
You’re my heartthrob.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
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