How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery
But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
Honey! I know this can be a bit cheesy, but you will always have a big pizza my heart.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
I lub dub you with all my heart.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
Go to BabaMail
