Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
Why did the Vampire read The New York Times? He heard it had great circulation.
What do Italians eat on Halloween?
Fettuccine Afraid-O
Why do skeleton's make such good comedians? They have so many funny bones.
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
I said to my son, "There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me."
He asked, "Which is?"
I replied, "Exactly!"
My Haloween costume would have been perfect if my hair agreed with me. Guess I’m just having a bad scare day.
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music!
Orange you excited for Halloween?
Did you guys hear about the airplane that dressed up for Halloween?
It was in disguise.
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-Pie!
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
Halloween candy is yummy and all, but don't forget to save room for 'I scream.'
I was a bit worried about making breakfast on Halloween
But I ain't afraid of no toast.
What do you call Jack-O-Lantern cousins who lift weights together?
Pump Kins
I don't trust pumpkins. They're seedy.
Why was the Jack-o-Lantern sad on Halloween?
Because he felt empty inside.
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
Halloween Math
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o'-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
I need a new Halloween costume. I’m thinking of going as an evil nun.
Do I really need another bad habit?
Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Did you get to meet the tallest vampire in the world? People call him Count Everest.
What is a jack o lantern's favorite pick up line?
"Darling, you look GOURD-EOUS!!"
For Halloween I'm going to dress as a donkey with a kilt
I'm going to be an ascot
Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are dying to get in!
What's the best part about the end of Halloween?
Putting the skeletons back in the closet!
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
Did you know that the soldiers at Arlington salute their new Jack-o-Lanterns every Halloween?
They always honor the changing of the Gourd.
On Halloween, I will be wearing a normal everyday T-Shirt
I'll be going as a Casualty
Jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin. I told him I'd gourd it with my life!
I dressed up as a jousting lance for Halloween, but nobody got it.
I thought it was pretty straight forward.
This Halloween I was planning to go as a band aid, but decided against it.
It’s really hard to pull off.
I told everyone that I’m going as a zombie character from Harry Potter this Halloween, but no one believes me.
I’m dead Sirius.
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
What did the Turkey do on Halloween?
He was a goblin
I went to a Halloween party wearing a pie shell and carrying a shepherds crook.
"What on earth are you supposed to be?" "I'm a spy" "A spy?. What kinda of spy wears a pie costume and carries a crook?"
A shepherds spy.
What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
The record store owner needed to get the albums by a Canadian band with Neil Pert on drums out on sale before Halloween...
So he put in a Rush order!
Who did Dracula take to the school dance? His ghoul friend.
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
What is Halloween's favorite medicine?
Any brand of coffin cold.
This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
I hope these Halloween puns don't drive you batty.
Went to church on Halloween
Turned out to be a blessing in disguise
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