For Halloween, one of my sons dressed up as the clown from IT, and another son as a Twitter hashtag. They asked me my opinion...
I said "Penny wise, pound foolish"
This Halloween I was planning to go as a band aid, but decided against it.
It’s really hard to pull off.
Don’t be a jerk-o-lantern this Halloween — share your candy!
What does a placebo say on Halloween?
“Trick or Treatment!”
This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music!
“I found this humerus” is the perfect Halloween pun for boneheads.
Halloween candy is yummy and all, but don't forget to save room for 'I scream.'
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
Halloween Math
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o'-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
Orange you excited for Halloween?
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin. I told him I'd gourd it with my life!
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
The record store owner needed to get the albums by a Canadian band with Neil Pert on drums out on sale before Halloween...
So he put in a Rush order!
What do you say when you're having dinner with a skeleton? Bone appetit!
What is a jack o lantern's favorite pick up line?
"Darling, you look GOURD-EOUS!!"
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
For Halloween I'm going to dress as a donkey with a kilt
I'm going to be an ascot
Jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
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