Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
What do you say when you're having dinner with a skeleton? Bone appetit!
We’ve all heard of the mushroom who gets invited to the party cause he’s a fungi, but what about the mushroom who stole all the halloween candy?
He had no morrels.
What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-Pie!
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music!
Jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?
You use a pumpkin patch.
I didn’t want to play it safe with a skeleton costume, I want people to know I have guts.
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
I was a bit worried about making breakfast on Halloween
But I ain't afraid of no toast.
Went to church on Halloween
Turned out to be a blessing in disguise
This Halloween I was planning to go as a band aid, but decided against it.
It’s really hard to pull off.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
Saw Humpty Dumpty shopping for Halloween supplies.
He's going to have a great fall.
My aunt showed up to our Halloween party wearing ranch bottle costume. She was an hour late.
Her response: Sorry, I was getting dressed.
I told everyone that I’m going as a zombie character from Harry Potter this Halloween, but no one believes me.
I’m dead Sirius.
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
I don't trust pumpkins. They're seedy.
Although he seems happy and bright, the jack-o-lantern was so sad on Halloween because he’s hollow inside.
Halloween candy is yummy and all, but don't forget to save room for 'I scream.'
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin. I told him I'd gourd it with my life!
What does a placebo say on Halloween?
“Trick or Treatment!”
What did the Turkey do on Halloween?
He was a goblin
Orange you excited for Halloween?
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
Don’t be a jerk-o-lantern this Halloween — share your candy!
Why do skeleton's make such good comedians? They have so many funny bones.
What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
On Halloween, I will be wearing a normal everyday T-Shirt
I'll be going as a Casualty
Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are dying to get in!
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
What do Italians eat on Halloween?
Fettuccine Afraid-O
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
Enjoy goblin up all your Halloween candy — just don't let it go to waist!
What's the best part about the end of Halloween?
Putting the skeletons back in the closet!
What is Halloween's favorite medicine?
Any brand of coffin cold.
“I found this humerus” is the perfect Halloween pun for boneheads.
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
My new Halloween cookies are bringing everyone back for more!
I call them boo merginues.
why are the discarded papers that once held the halloween candy just like vocalists who have lost their rhythm, art, and poetry?
they are both empty rappers
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
The best part of astrology is reading your daily horror-scope.
The record store owner needed to get the albums by a Canadian band with Neil Pert on drums out on sale before Halloween...
So he put in a Rush order!
I need a new Halloween costume. I’m thinking of going as an evil nun.
Do I really need another bad habit?
I said to my son, "There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me."
He asked, "Which is?"
I replied, "Exactly!"
Ghosts make the best cheerleaders. They have lots of spirit!
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
Go to BabaMail
