A woman asks her neighbor, "Can I borrow your lawnmower?"
Her neighbor says, "No, he's not home yet"
Let’s take a leaf of faith.
She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
All things must grass.
What kind of flowers bloom on your face? Tulips!
Have you botany plants lately?
You’re unbeleafable.
Herb your enthusiasm.
After a year of waiting, my publisher finally approved my book on gardening
It's about Thyme.
My local garden center is doing buy one, get one free on manure. Don’t sniff at this offer.
How to stop a dog from digging in a garden?
Start right! Never let the dog see you digging... Doggy see doggy do.
Cleaning my cold frame is a pane in the glass.
Why did the gardener think her plant was sick?
It was looking very green.
I'm a gardener and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I plant all day!
I dress in grubby clothing and hang around with slugs.
Oh I'm happy in the garden
With dirt and plants and bugs.
What rock would you find inside a garden shed?
Shedimentary.
I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
Do you need some encourage-mint?
I wasn’t all that interested in gardening, but I planted a few seeds, and it grew on me.
Farmers are real experts, they are often outstanding in their fields.
Did you hear about the squirrel diet? It’s nuts!
Don’t moss around.
Why did the gardener need a cork?
Because his garden sprung a leek!
One more thyme.
I used to make lots of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in.
What’s a gardener’s favorite Harrison Ford film? Raiders of the Lost Bark.
I beg your garden?
I asked the staff at my local garden center what to grow in my garden. They gave me some sage advice.
Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled.
I’ve always been afraid of gardening.
But then I decided to grow a pear.
What runs around a garden but never moves? A fence.
Who needs friends when you’ve got anemones?
What’s a gardener’s favorite Beatles song? Lettuce Be.
I’ll never leaf you.
Why was the gardener so embarrassed? He wet his plants!
What kind of socks does a gardener wear?
Garden hose!
Ants in your plants.
Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?
Trowel and error.
Your good weed for the day.
Eat, drink and be rosemary.
I beg your garden?
All clover the world.
It’s party thyme.
What’s a corn farmer’s favorite animal? The unicorn.
What kind of garden flowers grow in outer space?
Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, and Cosmos.
Did you hear the gardener's joke about the old oak tree?
It's acorny one!
Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
He had a long honeydew list.
What did the gardeners say when he discovered nasty weeds in his garden?
I have spotted spurge!
I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug-fest.
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