Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
Several epidemics throughout history have many similarities in characteristics.
For example, many diseases evolved from poor hygiene between animals and humans and a rise in urban population and interregional communication. Many had very similar effects and modes of transmission.
Because of the similarities, many historians are looking into allegations of these diseases stealing each other's methods, committing plague-iarism.
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
How tall is a spider?
Eight foot.
What is a koala bear’s favorite line in the movie “The Sixth Sense”? “Aussie dead people.”
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied.
Almost dropped a plate of Alphabeti Spaghetti. That could have spelled disaster.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Have you heard about some bones on the moon? Looks like the cow couldn’t make it after all.
Why do accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
Zero lucks given on St. Patrick’s Day.
How do the elves clean Santa's sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer!
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
What do cloves use for money? Garlic "Bread."
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
The density of this concrete leads me to believe one thing: it is a hard court.
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
I feel thankful for having you as my gym buddy and lover.
Our relationship is really working out.
Don’t let your grandparents have daughters.
That’s how you get aunts.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
Why did the house make an appointment with the doctor?
It had a window-pane.
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
When my grandparents came over they said: “You look like you’ve grown a foot!”
I looked down to my feet, looked back up, and told them: “No, I still have just two.”
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
What does a bee do when it is extremely hot?
It takes off its yellow jacket!
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.
Who directs all of the movies about volleyball injuries? Spike Lee.
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
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