What's the Difference Between Mechanical & Civil Engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
Engineers like to Solve Problems but...
If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own.
Never argue with Pi, it's irrational.
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
What's the Difference Between a Chemist and a Chemical Engineer?
Oh, about $10 K a year.
Did you hear about the constipated engineer? He worked it out with a pencil. It was a natural log.
If you’re doing dangerous work on a platform that’s held together by screwed in bolts, then your life is hanging by a thread.
Where in the World Can You Find the Highest Concentration of Engineers?
Antarctica! Because that's where all the P. Enguins are!
The interesting the about engineering Toilet Paper.
It's an a-ply-ed science.
Why was the thermometer smarter than the graduated cylinder?
He had more degrees.
How Many Engineers Does It Take to Assemble a Futon?
Three…and a psychologist!
What did the structural engineer say to the architect? Nice buttress.
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? That hertz.
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape.
Professor: "What's a hydraulic ram used for?" "It's where you get steel wool!"
Power naps are great. You can really build up charge with them.
I passed my degree in sound engineering. I got 1-2-1-2!
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
Why is a robot engineer never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
Old Software Engineers Never Die...
They just reboot.
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
Two antennas got married – the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
Why was the software engineer bankrupt? He’d used all his cache.
What to give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday?
Shorts.
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