Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
I really hate straws.
They suck.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
Have you ever tried sticking a fork in a socket?
The results may shock you
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
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