I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
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