Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little brat used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
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