How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little brat used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
I really hate straws.
They suck.
Go to BabaMail
