Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
Have you ever tried sticking a fork in a socket?
The results may shock you
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
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