Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
Have you ever tried sticking a fork in a socket?
The results may shock you
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
Go to BabaMail
