Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
I really hate straws.
They suck.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
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