When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
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