What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
Ah! The element of surprise.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
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