I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
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