Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
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