I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
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