What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
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