An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
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