Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
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