What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
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