What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
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