Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
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