What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
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