What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
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