Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
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