Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
What’s it called your backpack messes up your spine?
Schooliosis !
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
What did the doctor give the lollipop when he broke his leg
A candy cane.
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?
Bruised Knee.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
How heavy are your bones?
They are scale-a-ton.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
ILENE.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
One day, I looked to my spine and said
Thanks for all the support! Thanks to you we've grown to new heights.
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
or just mething around?
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
A lady stormed off when I asked about her hand bag.
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
What do you call a funny bone?
A humerus.
Asked my son what his favourite thing about Popeye was.
He said, "Forearms."
I said, "No, he only has two."
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What do you call a toddler running towards their mother with arms high up in the air?
A quick pick-me-up.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs lying on a pile of leaves?
Russle.
I think I'm getting curvature of the spine...
I haven't seen a doctor yet, it's just a hunch.
The sound of my bones really cracks me up.
I need to stop being such a numbskull.
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
Some guy wanted to charge me a bunch of money for a second hand bouncy house.
But I wasn't sure if that was something I really wanted to jump into.
It's better to amputate at the shoulder,
Its twice as much work to cut off forearms.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
What do you call a skeleton's favorite singer?
Pelvis Presley.
Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
As a mythologist and head of the household,
My word is lore.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
So a man walked up to me and placed some soil, plant seeds and fertilizer on my head.
It was annoying at first, but I think it grew on me.
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
Did you hear about the skeleton that was almost picked apart by a group of wild dogs?
He marrowly escaped.
A knew a guy with such a bad gambling addiction, that he gambled his arms, legs, and torso away.
I told him to quit while he was a head.
How do two skeletons have se*?
They bone each other.
I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg.
If a woman with big breasts works at Hooters, where does someone with one leg work?
IHOP.
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