What do you call a guy with no arms and legs lying on a pile of leaves?
Russle.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.
I punched my monitor and now my hand really hertz.
What do you call a skeleton who lies?
A phoney-ba-boney.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
It's better to amputate at the shoulder,
Its twice as much work to cut off forearms.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”?
Because every play needs a cast.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
The head surgeon shouted at me for accidentally severing the patient's spine.
I think I struck a nerve.
"No body won the skeleton race."
Don't you just hate it when it's 212 degrees outside? It really just makes my blood boil.
A person without arms and a knife in their mouth is still technically armed,
but only to the teeth.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
My friend has an insect parasite that can't stop fidgeting as it sucks blood.
He has a nervous tick.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker
Hop In.
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
Earlier today someone sent me a bunch of flowers, but all the heads had been cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.
My friend always sleeps with his head on a bag of rice
He said it was a type of pilau.
What do you say when you go to a dinner with a bunch of osteopathologists?
Bone appetit!
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
I think I'm getting curvature of the spine...
I haven't seen a doctor yet, it's just a hunch.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
Someone said, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
So I through a dictionary at them.
I'm surprised you all aren't talking more about that drug with the side effect of making scalps wrinkled.
I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.
What do you call a dog that likes to dig up bones?
A barkeologist.
Where do you imprison a naughty skeleton?
A rib cage.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a pool?
Bob.
What are the two most profane bones in the human body?
The blasfemurs.
What does a pirate with heart failures need?
Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics.
What do you call a man with no legs and no arms resting on a porch?
Matt.
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