Stay away from Gmail if you don't want to get shivers down your spine
There's clearly a draft in there.
I think my back hurts. I'm okay though.
It's spine.
what does goblin's blood consist of?
A hemogoblin
Guy walks into a tailor shop to pick up his suit. The tailor hands him a jacket and pair of pants. The guy says “But I had a 3-piece suit.”
Tailor says “The vest is yet to come.”
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
What do you call a deer that feeds on the blood of others?
Vlad the impala.
I took my dog's bone away from him.
She was fur-rious.
A lady stormed off when I asked about her hand bag.
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
Why did the thief cut the legs off his bed?
Because he needed to lie low.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What do you call it when the axe in your hand falls on your feet.
An AXEIDENT.
What bone does a dog not eat?
A trombone.
What’s the coolest part of a skeleton?
The hip.
How do you know if a spine finds you funny?
It starts cracking up.
A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm.
He goes up to the bartender and says "A drink please and another for the road."
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery
But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
Dogs can't see your bones.
But catscan.
My daughter was just complaining about washing dishes by hand
I told her, “well... it’s better than washing them by foot.”
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
I punched my monitor and now my hand really hertz.
What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
A balding magician had an act where he'd put a rabbit on his head and make it disappear...
The hare vanished into thin hair.
I'm so Midwestern, it's in my blood
I'm type Ohp!-ositive
I boiled a funny bone once.
It turned into a laughing stock.
I don't mind leg day at the gym.
It's just the two days after that I can't stand.
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
What are the two most profane bones in the human body?
The blasfemurs.
One day, I looked to my spine and said
Thanks for all the support! Thanks to you we've grown to new heights.
I need to stop being such a numbskull.
Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?
A quarterback.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
No! You can't force me to shave my forearms!
I have a right to bear arms!
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
A pile of books fall onto Sean Connery's head
He exclaims: "I only have my shelf to blame!"
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
I like to reminisce about the surgeon who removed my spine.
Really takes me back.
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
I went to the hospital for chest pains but the doctor kept inspecting my spine.
This place is back wards.
Why do skeletons never move?
Because they have too much Skelatonin.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
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