Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.
I know birthdays get worse as you get older. But look at the bright side — not too many left now.
You know you are getting older when the candles don’t fit on the cake.
It was my wife's birthday the other day
I took her to an orchard and we stood there for 20 minutes.
Apparently it wasn't the Apple watch she wanted.
I gifted my girlfriend a star for her birthday
I think its perfect, she said she needed some space.
I just bought my friend a mini fridge for his birthday
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
Behind every great parent is a great kid. Happy birthday!
My wife isn't talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday....
I don't know how I did that... I didn't even know it was her birthday!
For the record, you’re not old, you’re a classic.
I don't get why a kid in my son's Pre-K class gave everyone an inflatable sword as a party favor for their birthday.
It's pointless.
How do pickles celebrate their birthdays? They relish them.
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