This whole birthday thing is getting old, don’t you think?
People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.
What type of music is scary for birthday balloons? Pop music!
For my wife's birthday, I bought her some beads for her abacus
It's the little things that count.
You feta have a gouda birthday.
You did a grape job raisin me. Happy birthday!
You are aged to perfection.
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said ....
You know, one would have been enough.
For my wife's birthday, I bought her some beads for her abacus
It's the little things that count.
Remember the one about people queuing up for drinks at Old Faithful's birthday party?
You're not missing much; the punch line blows.
I know birthdays get worse as you get older. But look at the bright side — not too many left now.
Nobody showed up to my 16th birthday party,
I congratulated him on his win against Polyphemus and we started the party.
Be careful, too many birthdays can kill you!
You’re not 50 years old, you are 20 years old with 30 years of experience!
They say everything gets better with age.
More candles means a bigger wish!
I don't get why a kid in my son's Pre-K class gave everyone an inflatable sword as a party favor for their birthday.
It's pointless.
I gifted my girlfriend a star for her birthday
I think its perfect, she said she needed some space.
Behind every great parent is a great kid. Happy birthday!
What did the boy without hands get for his birthday?
Nobody knows, he hasn't got the package open yet.
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
Why do pieces of popcorn always have great birthdays? Because they’re always popping!
The girls next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday.
But I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
For my birthday, my kids got me an alarm clock that swears at you instead of beeping.
That was quite a rude awakening.
Looking 50 is great! If you’re 60.
Being related to me is the best birthday gift you could receive.
How do pickles celebrate their birthdays? They relish them.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
AYE, MATEY!
You know you’re getting old when…there is nothing left to learn the hard way.
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
My dad got me a clone of myself for my birthday...
He said “Here, it’s faux you!”
My girlfriend made me one of those sculpted 3D cakes for my birthday but wouldn't stop reminding me how it took her all day to decorate it..
..which is surprising since to me it looked like a piece of cake.
I’m a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me legos for my birthday.
I don’t know what to make of it.
Hey shawty, it’s sherbert day.
You are one candle closer to starting a house fire.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age!
My dad got me a clone of myself for my birthday...
He said “Here, it’s faux you!”
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
I keep telling my wife I want a Segway for my birthday.
But every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.
I hope the only things that blow are candles and balloons. Have a great birthday!
My wife isn't talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday....
I don't know how I did that... I didn't even know it was her birthday!
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
You know you are getting older when the candles don’t fit on the cake.
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
For the record, you’re not old, you’re a classic.
The only thing I got for my wife on her birthday was a big helium balloon.
It didn’t go down very well.
Birthday candles don’t exercise because they burn out too quickly!
My daughter want's the new iPhone for her birthday. I told her she will get one as long as she has good grades, does her chores, and follows the house rules. Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone, because.
It's my way or the Huawei.
People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.
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