What do you call pig shampoo?
Hogwash.
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
What do you call a basin full of denim?
A gene pool!
After trying out floss for the first time, I couldn't believe how nice it felt.
It truly was a breath of fresh air.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
Ever use one of those expensive toothbrushes?
It's breath-taking.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
This s***ty toilet broke down again!
How does a napkin sneeze?
Tissue.
I made a bridge out of Kleenex.
I have truss tissues.
How does the tooth fairy survive a hurricane? She braces for it.
My friend claims he works in a soap factory, adding a key ingredient to the process...
He's a lye-er.
Some people stand up off the toilet before they flush, but I don’t
I don’t want to see that sh**!
What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?
Eu-reek-a
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
Have you heard what happened to unemployed perfume makers?
They are not making any scents.
If you don't use a bidet...
You're doing a half-a*sed job.
I had to unclog my sink today.
I found it to be very draining.
Here’s my best advice for getting a job in the lotion industry:
Apply daily.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
I used to be pretty nifty tap dancer...
Until I fell into the sink.
Why did it take dad an hour to choose which skin cream to buy?
He didn't want to make a rash decision.
How do sponges talk to the devil?
They use a squeegee board.
My wife says to me this morning "Our son's toothbrush is getting fraid"
I say "What's it so fraid of?"
I wanted to do the dishes and wasn’t sure where I put the dish soap.
Then it Dawned on me.
I could have sworn that my skin had changed color
But it was just a pigment of my imagination.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
What do you call spooky mascara
Mascarea.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?
Must-turd.
I was on the way to the gorcer when I remembered, I need to put toothpaste on the grocery list.
My dad said, "Don't do that! It'll be all messy!"
The perfume was very cheap.
It's price was in cents.
What do you call a food waste disposter installed in the sink?
In-sink-erator
I have no idea what I'm doing with eyeliner
To be honest, I just wing it.
The plumber was working on the side to become an artist.
Unfortunately, he couldn't find a faucet for his creativity.
Stayed in a posh hotel with towels so thick I could barely shut my suitcase.
Slightly disappointed that the makers of the shampoo, "Head and Shoulders" have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
My kid didn't want to tell me that his tooth was loose.
I had to pull it out of him.
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
What did the duck say when she purchased new lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
Woke up this morning to a tap on my door.
That plumber has some sense of humour.
The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick....
She still isn't talking to me.
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
A kitchen sink that treats you right?
That's a Farrah Fawcett.
Gave my pet leopard a bath every day. Now he’s spotless.
What do you call a dog’s back teeth?
Canine canines.
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
Go to BabaMail
