What do you call a disabled paper towel?
A napkan't.
What do you call a duck that steals soap from the bathtub?
A robber ducky.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
What kind of day ends with no toilet paper?
A bidet.
What did the flirty shower head say?
"Every naked person I see turns me on!"
Why do people sing in the shower?
Because the audience in the toilet is sh**!
Police are appealing to the man who stole all the soap from the supermarket
To come clean
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
Having to wipe with a hemorrhoid is a pain in the a**.
Made a shoe out of tea bags for my wife, she said she needed to wipe her nose.
Swimming pools are just chlorified bathtubs...
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
I could have sworn that my skin had changed color
But it was just a pigment of my imagination.
What’s that Nevada city where all the dentists visit?
Floss Vegas.
How do sponges talk to the devil?
They use a squeegee board.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
There was a knock at the door this morning. I opened it and there was a wash basin on the doorstep.
I thought, "I'd better let this sink in."
All farts...are laughing gas.
Why did the toilet paper role down the hill?
To get to the bottom...
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
I do not like lotion at all.
It really gets under my skin.
The magazine my daughter gets each month always smells like perfume. I wondered aloud if they scent it.
Then I realized, of course they sent it. Otherwise it would have never come.
Told my wife I’m going to take a shower.
She said, dn’t take it too far!
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?
Towels.
What kind of degree can you get at a urinal?
A Pee h.D.
Why don't ghosts wear deodorant?
They like to keep it super natural.
Why are sponges such good listeners?
Because they soak up everything.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
A friend of mine was taking a bath when he realised he wasn’t a very good burglar.
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
Why did the cows have towels? To keep each udder dry.
It wasn’t my idea to get bidet...
But now I kinda like the little squirt.
My wife was at the store earlier and she texted me saying, “Should I buy new beach towels?”
I wrote back, “Shore.”
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
I bought a larger sink with a built in subwoofer.
My current one doesn't have enough basin.
Today I learned some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet.
That must be a sh***y phobia to have.
Why did the tooth see a therapist?
To get to the root of their problems.
Saw a sign for bath plugs. I didn’t know that was electric!
A plumber and his coworkers finally fixed his own sink after years of not having access to tap water. He started crying, and his coworkers asked why.
He said with a trembling voice, "Because water works!"
I passed my dentistry tests with an A in my written paper.
In Oral, B.
My sinks been on deaths door for the past week or so...
I finally decided to pull the plug.
I used to be pretty nifty tap dancer...
Until I fell into the sink.
Why do perfumes always hang out in pairs?
Because they don't want to get cologne-ly!
What did the toothpaste wear to the club?
A tube top!
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