What did the old urinal cake say to the new one?
"Oh boy, first day? Urine for a treat."
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
Many people believe liquid soap is more hygienic than soap bars.
Don't listen to them, it is only a slippery soap argument.
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
I used to be addicted to soap.
I’m clean now.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
Where does the Japanese mafia take a bath?
In a yakuzzi.
I've seen a meteor shower,
but never seen a meteor take a bath.
What do you call a faucet in the capital of Belgium?
A Brussels spout.
What do you call spooky mascara
Mascarea.
I dislike toilet paper because...
They're tearable.
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
What do you call it when you need a break at work and go to the bathroom even though you don't need to go?
A sham poo.
My friend said he got a package containing soaps from around the world...
But it was a pack of lyes.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
Urine trouble.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
Why do you use an old towel to dry your dog?
Because it's a little rough.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
My dad dumps expired peas down the drain. Then he looks at me and says:
“Hey, I peed in the sink”
I tried giving my cat a bath and it sucked...
I couldn't get the fur off my tongue for a week.
People who take good care of their hair with just shampoo and water...
Must love it unconditionally.
There was a group of ants that always went on parties together, but one smelled way worse than the others.
He was de odor ant.
Slightly disappointed that the makers of the shampoo, "Head and Shoulders" have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
Have you ever heard of the book "They Yellow River"?
It was written by I.P. Daily.
The doctor told me to get in a bathtub full of milk to soothe my sunburn, I asked him 'pasteurized?'
He said 'No, just up to your neck'
Putting on makeup and putting on glasses serve the same purpose...
They make the person look better!
If you think the 45 degree ski slope is tough,
Wait until you try the 110 degree hot tub!
Got out of the shower, went downstairs and opened the door in my towel.
I know it’s a funny place to have a door, but there you have it.
Why can’t a tile walk very well?
He has square feet.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
What do you call a disabled paper towel?
A napkan't.
I go through so much shampoo it's just ridiculous!
I don't know, maybe my head is bigger than most but it does say to use a cap full.
I can't find my scrubber in the shower
It's aloof-ah
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
My dentist asked me if I had any questions before he started.
I thought for a minute, then asked, "If oral hygiene is so important, why do you have plaque on your wall?"
"Have you seen our toilet roll?" asked my wife.
"Don't be silly," I replied.
"A toilet is a stationary object."
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
I saw a sign above the urinal that read: "This is a urinal."
"No Sh**".
What kind of day ends with no toilet paper?
A bidet.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
I had to unclog my sink today.
I found it to be very draining.
Mascara and lipstick broke up last week.
Now they are trying to make-up!
I just got a new bathtub
But we dont have to get into that right now
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
What did the toilet say to the urinal after it was hired?
“Urine!”
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
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