What song does a painter sing when he is in truly dire straits? Monet for Nothing.
What is a definition of art theft? The haul of frames.
A friend of mine swallowed some food colouring. He feels he dyed a little inside.
Blue and orange are always polite and amicable with each other because they are complementary colors.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
Blackboards love drinking beverages, especially hot white chalk-olate!
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
I keep looking at our upstage platform that is designed with only a ladder for access. It's just so hard not to stair.
Aliens hate playing golf in space as there are too many black holes!
The green light at the road signal looked at the red light and said, "Don't look while I am changing".
If a painter ever feels stressed or troubled, they take a vacation to the hills. It will easel their mind!
I went to a new kind of show yesterday, which was hosted by a color-changing lizard. He was a good stand-up chameleon.
Did you hear about the painter who works in jail? They say he had a brush with the law.
Failed my art exam by using the wrong pencil.
It wasn't 2b.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.
The Earth without 'art'...
....is 'EH'
Dark-colored huskies found in Colorado can also be termed as dusky huskies!
I was watching a movie when the screen started to emit blue light. Guess this is one of the cons of watching movies on Blue Ray.
A friend of mine was describing an exotic bird to me and asked what was orange and sounded like a parrot. I told him, "A carrot".
It's tough to tell if the sky is ever happy or not. It always looks so blue!
I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...
It was stolen from right under my nose.
The artist thought she was all that and pen some.
My friend can't afford expensive art, she has no Monet.
I was sick, and my whole body turned colorful. The doctor took a look and said that I had a color infection, which is caused by the Crayola virus.s
Why did Van Gogh become a painter? Because he just didn't have an ear for music.
TV news anchors love the shades of red. They get serious whenever there is Burgundy.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
Why are artists so temperamental? They have to get into the right frame of mind.
What did the angry artist say? Don't get me arted!
What did the artist ask the preschooler? Can you count to pen?
I had gradient expectations on him of being a good artist, but it was all in vain!
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
Why did the artist get into a heated argument with the gallery curator? He just wasn't in the right frame of mind.
Why did the artist use the bathroom? Because she was consta-painted.
Why did you fall in love with the Paris art museum? It was just Louvre at first site.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
Q. Which famous magician always wore a multi-color suit on stage?
A. Hue-dini.
What's long, surprisingly bigger than expected, comes in different colors, and everyone wants a ride from?
A limousine.
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
Why did the origami artist win her court case? She was great at doing the paperwork.
Why did the artist have to go to the bathroom right away? Because when you gotta Van Gogh, you gotta Van Gogh.
My Asian neighbor owns a T-shirt company where he colors white shirts. I think it's a Thai Dye T-shirt company.
Why did the artist cross the street? To crosshatch to the other side.
What do you call a painting by a cat of herself? A self paw-trait.
I had never seen a horse that white. Perhaps, that is why it is called a mayo-neighs.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
What do zombies use to color their hair?
Dye of the dead!
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
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