What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
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