The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
Ah! The element of surprise.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.