What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.