What did Train say when they visited a sibling in South Korea?
Hey, Seoul Sister!
What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A LOCOmotive.
What do you call a locomotive with a cold? A choo choo train.
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
Did you hear about the man who sat next to his clone on the train?
He was beside himself.
I don’t want to drive you crazy, but I do have a loco-motive
Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.
The US army secretly trains pigeons to help overthrow hostile foreign governments.
It’s a military coo.
I was so embarrassed when my wife found me playing with my son’s train set that I threw a blanket over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
Why did the monster eat the caboose? The locomotive told it to choo choo.
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
Why did the Mexican train robber rob the train?
Because he had a loco-motive.
How do trains eat?
They chew chew.
I know an elephant who refused to travel by train because he didn’t want to leave his trunk in the baggage car.
A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. It was an ex-press train.
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
How long does it take for electricity to travel the length of a 10 car train?
It all depends on the conductor.
Why do you have to wait so long for a train on Halloween? They only run a skeleton service.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
I’ve been meaning to make a list of bad railroad puns…but I keep getting side tracked.
I was running to catch a train yesterday, but just as I was approaching it...
I realized my net wasn't big enough.
New electric trains will run on conductors.
What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum? A chew-chew train.
How do locomotives hear? Through the engineers!
How do you find a missing train? Follow the tracks
I saw a guy on the train holding a newspaper in front of his face.
He was behind The Times.
Why did the train have to rush to the bathroom?
It’s been toot toot tootin all day long!
Never going drinking with Train drivers again.
All they did all night was tell me to ‘chug,chug,chug,chug.’
Why did the train have bubble gum? Because he wanted to go Choo Choo
Why didn't the conductor know what to do when he found that his train was missing?
He wasn't trained for this.
Why don’t elephants like to ride on trains? Because they hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car.
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.
Why are ghosts no good at running a railway? A. Because they can’t even put on a skeleton service!
I tried to tell my favourite joke about trains, but it got derailed.
