What did Train say when they visited a sibling in South Korea?
Hey, Seoul Sister!
Why don’t elephants like to ride on trains? Because they hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car.
Why did the monster eat the caboose? The locomotive told it to choo choo.
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
What do you call a locomotive with a cold? A choo choo train.
I am on the train and a light just came on saying the toilet is engaged.
Congratulations, toilet!
Why are the railroad tracks angry? Because people are always crossing them.
What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train.
I’ve been meaning to make a list of bad railroad puns…but I keep getting side tracked.
What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum? A chew-chew train.
How do locomotives hear? Through the engineers!
A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.
Why did the train have to rush to the bathroom?
It’s been toot toot tootin all day long!
Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?
King's Crustation.
What did the Mama Steam Engine say to her Baby Steam Engine at supper time? “Choo choo!”
What do you give a train driver for Christmas? Platform shoes!
First time hunters were arguing over which kind of animal tracks they had found when they were hit by a train.
Those who steal trains must have a loco–motive!
Why did the Mexican train robber rob the train?
Because he had a loco-motive.
I saw a guy on the train holding a newspaper in front of his face.
He was behind The Times.
What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home? He had to give it back!
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
A train track and a motorway walk into a bar. The train track says “a pint for me, please, and one for the road.”
I don’t want to drive you crazy, but I do have a loco-motive
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
Why do you have to wait so long for a train on Halloween? They only run a skeleton service.
Never going drinking with Train drivers again.
All they did all night was tell me to ‘chug,chug,chug,chug.’
I was so embarrassed when my wife found me playing with my son’s train set that I threw a blanket over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
I know someone who tried to runway after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A LOCOmotive.
Why didn't the conductor know what to do when he found that his train was missing?
He wasn't trained for this.
Why did the train have bubble gum? Because he wanted to go Choo Choo
The US army secretly trains pigeons to help overthrow hostile foreign governments.
It’s a military coo.
Why are ghosts no good at running a railway? A. Because they can’t even put on a skeleton service!
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
I know an elephant who refused to travel by train because he didn’t want to leave his trunk in the baggage car.
A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. It was an ex-press train.
Never liked the troll who lives under the local railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.
A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.
Ticket inspectors. You’ve got to hand it to them…
The school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the locomotive says “Choo Choo Choo!”
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers? Oh good! A chew chew train!
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
I just quit my job as a train driver a few weeks ago.
I can't help but feel that my life has gone off the rails since.
I've always wanted to become a podiatrist, but was made to train as a paediatrician first.
Baby steps.
I know someone who tried to run away after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
Did you hear about the man who sat next to his clone on the train?
He was beside himself.