I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.