If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.