When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.