Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
