What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.