How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!