Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.