What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
I tried to keep a koala in my house, but the smell was just unBEARable.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
When does a Koala go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
Which side of a koala bear has the most fur? The outside!
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
How does a koala get from one place to another? On a gondkoala.
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
What do you call a koala with a negative attitude? The bearer of bad news.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
Every koala supports the idea of being able to defend themselves against tyranny. They believe in having the right to bear claws.
Did you hear about the koala bear in the church choir? Yeah, they say he sings bearitone.
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
Why are koala's so sleepy? Because you just got to be tired being so darn cute all day!
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
How did the koala bear get the high-paying job? He met all of the koalafications.
How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.
What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
There once was a koala who could run at a speed of more than 800 miles per hour. He was the first koala to break the sound bearier.
Besides eucalyptus leaves, what is a koala bear’s favorite vegetable? Koalaflower.
Why didn’t the koala bear get the job? He was underkoalafied. How did he fix this? By going back to koalage.
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
What do koalas do when they’re facing a tough situation? They grin and bear it.
Why did the koala bear eat so much eucalyptus? He simply couldn’t leaf it alone.
What’s small, furry and slightly purple? A koala holding its breath!
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
Where are koalas taken when they die? To an ancient bearial site.
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.