Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
