I’m a clover, not a fighter.
Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe?
Its population is always Dublin.
I love when you coddle me.
Did you hear about the Irishman that drank 100 liters of stout in just 30 minutes?
They’re calling it a Guinness World Record.
In Ireland, when the cows are in the road it’s udder chaos.
Ireland always leaves me wanting Moher.
It ain’t over till it’s clover.
What do you say if you lose a game on St. Patrick's Day?
Game clover.
A trip to Ireland always lifts my spirits.
Are people jealous of the Irish?
Yeah, they’re green with envy.
I’m a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. It’s Leprechronic.
You’re my lucky charm.
When I went to my favorite Irish cafe after years, I felt deja brew all over again.
What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day?
BOOs.
How was the lepre-con caught?
By an under-clover police officer!
Did you hear about the Irish potato that immigrated?
He became a French fry.
Ireland is a little lamb-boyant.
Ireland is pitcher perfect.
Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?
They’re really into green living.
What's Irish and stays out all night?
Paddy O'Furniture.
The food here is quite so-fish-ticated.
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
I saw some leprechauns putting coins in the vending machine but in vain. They were using lepre-coins.
Why don’t leprechauns run?
They’d rather jig than jog.
This weekend, I will watch a new Irish movie based on a marathon runner who only ate potatoes. It is called Starch Trek.
What type of music should you play at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Sham-rock!
My grandma is 80% Irish.
People call her Iris.
What kind of spells do leprechauns use?
Lucky Charms!
What do you call a big Irish spider?
A Paddy long legs.
I’m ready to shamrock and roll.
Jameson on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s worth a shot.
You have me greening from ear to ear.
Why did Saint Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
They were causing mass hiss-teria!
Dublin over in laughter.
How can Irish people tell when it’s summer?
The rain gets warmer.
How does every Irish joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
Remember, Irish puns on St. Patrick's Day don't just shame you. They Seamus all.
Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
They’re always a little short.
What do you call a fake Irish stone?
A shamrock.
Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaved clover?
You don’t want to press your luck.
What is it called when two Irish couples go out on a date?
Dublin.
What kind of person would sell someone a sham-rock?
A lepre-con!
You’re the cutest clover in the patch.
Irish cuisine is stew-pendous.
I am happy that the arrangements for St Patrick's day are going great. The large bottles of green soda look pitcher-perfect.
Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too expensive to fly and too long to walk.
Be-leaf me, you look great in green.
Why did the two Irish men fight amongst themselves?
They can’t find any other worthy opponents.
A trip to Ireland is quite a cliffhanger.