How does every Irish joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.
What do you call a fake Irish stone?
A shamrock.
How can Irish people tell when it’s summer?
The rain gets warmer.
How can you tell if you’ve told a really funny Irish joke?
People will be Dublin over with laughter!
I am happy that the arrangements for St Patrick's day are going great. The large bottles of green soda look pitcher-perfect.
I told my friend that our old school friend is coming to attend St Patrick's feast. She was surprised. She asked, "O'Reilly?"
What type of music should you play at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Sham-rock!
Don’t worry, Moher pictures are coming.
In Ireland, when the cows are in the road it’s udder chaos.
Why don’t leprechauns run?
They’d rather jig than jog.
Be-leaf me, you look great in green.
Ireland is pitcher perfect.
In Ireland, I call the shots.
Remember, Irish puns on St. Patrick's Day don't just shame you. They Seamus all.
Did you hear about the Irishman that drank 100 liters of stout in just 30 minutes?
They’re calling it a Guinness World Record.
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
Are people jealous of the Irish?
Yeah, they’re green with envy.
Why did Saint Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
They were causing mass hiss-teria!
In Ireland, they really like to ham it up.
March 17 is near, and I am so excited about it. The clover it gets, the more excited I become.
Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaved clover?
You don’t want to press your luck.
Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe?
Its population is always Dublin.
The food here is quite so-fish-ticated.
Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?
They’re really into green living.
You’re the cutest clover in the patch.
I’m ready to shamrock and roll.
My grandma is 80% Irish.
People call her Iris.
I’m feelin’ green.
I’m a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. It’s Leprechronic.
I’m a clover, not a fighter.
What do you say if you lose a game on St. Patrick's Day?
Game clover.
A trip to Ireland always lifts my spirits.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
Ireland always leaves me wanting Moher.
Irish I had better jokes.
What kind of person would sell someone a sham-rock?
A lepre-con!
This weekend, I will watch a new Irish movie based on a marathon runner who only ate potatoes. It is called Starch Trek.
It ain’t over till it’s clover.
What is it called when two Irish couples go out on a date?
Dublin.
What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day?
BOOs.
I love when you coddle me.
A trip to Ireland is quite a cliffhanger.
Irish food is legen-dairy.
You have me greening from ear to ear.
You’re my lucky charm.
St. Patrick’s is all about the pursuit of hoppiness!
When I went to my favorite Irish cafe after years, I felt deja brew all over again.
Visitors are Doolin over these gorgeous views.
I saw some leprechauns putting coins in the vending machine but in vain. They were using lepre-coins.
What do you call a bulletproof Irish man?
Rick O’Shay.
