I’m a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. It’s Leprechronic.
Are people jealous of the Irish?
Yeah, they’re green with envy.
What type of music should you play at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Sham-rock!
Jameson on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s worth a shot.
You’re my lucky charm.
Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe?
Its population is always Dublin.
I saw some leprechauns putting coins in the vending machine but in vain. They were using lepre-coins.
Irish food is legen-dairy.
The food here is quite so-fish-ticated.
How was the lepre-con caught?
By an under-clover police officer!
Dublin over in laughter.
It ain’t over till it’s clover.
What is it called when two Irish couples go out on a date?
Dublin.
I’m feelin’ green.
Be-leaf me, you look great in green.
Ireland always leaves me wanting Moher.
I’m a clover, not a fighter.
A trip to Ireland always lifts my spirits.
Visitors are Doolin over these gorgeous views.
Did you hear about the Irish potato that immigrated?
He became a French fry.
How does every Irish joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.
I am happy that the arrangements for St Patrick's day are going great. The large bottles of green soda look pitcher-perfect.
What kind of person would sell someone a sham-rock?
A lepre-con!
What's Irish and stays out all night?
Paddy O'Furniture.
Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaved clover?
You don’t want to press your luck.
What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day?
BOOs.
You’re the cutest clover in the patch.
Just look, it’s the Trifle Tower
March 17 is near, and I am so excited about it. The clover it gets, the more excited I become.
Irish I had better jokes.
Ireland is a little lamb-boyant.
What do you call a big Irish spider?
A Paddy long legs.
Do you be-leaf in magic?
You have me greening from ear to ear.
In Ireland, I call the shots.
What are the best sandwiches to serve at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Paddy melts!
I’m Dublin down on what I said before.
A trip to Ireland is quite a cliffhanger.
Why don’t leprechauns run?
They’d rather jig than jog.
This weekend, I will watch a new Irish movie based on a marathon runner who only ate potatoes. It is called Starch Trek.
My grandma is 80% Irish.
People call her Iris.
What do you call a bulletproof Irish man?
Rick O’Shay.
Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too expensive to fly and too long to walk.
I’m ready to shamrock and roll.
Irish potatoes are spud-tacular.
Don’t worry, Moher pictures are coming.
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
How can Irish people tell when it’s summer?
The rain gets warmer.
I told my friend that our old school friend is coming to attend St Patrick's feast. She was surprised. She asked, "O'Reilly?"
How can you tell if you’ve told a really funny Irish joke?
People will be Dublin over with laughter!