Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.