Horse Puns

You galloped to the right place for a complete list of horse puns!

Horse Puns

Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.

Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.