What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
