What did the Turkey do on Halloween?
He was a goblin
I didn’t want to play it safe with a skeleton costume, I want people to know I have guts.
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
Son: Dad, did you know they used to carve turnips on Halloween?
Dad: They must have been out of their gourds.
why are the discarded papers that once held the halloween candy just like vocalists who have lost their rhythm, art, and poetry?
they are both empty rappers
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.
Halloween candy is yummy and all, but don't forget to save room for 'I scream.'
What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music!
Don’t be a jerk-o-lantern this Halloween — share your candy!
The record store owner needed to get the albums by a Canadian band with Neil Pert on drums out on sale before Halloween...
So he put in a Rush order!
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
I said to my son, "There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me."
He asked, "Which is?"
I replied, "Exactly!"
Did you guys hear about the airplane that dressed up for Halloween?
It was in disguise.
What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-Pie!
What do you say when you're having dinner with a skeleton? Bone appetit!
I told everyone that I’m going as a zombie character from Harry Potter this Halloween, but no one believes me.
I’m dead Sirius.
On Halloween, I will be wearing a normal everyday T-Shirt
I'll be going as a Casualty
I need a new Halloween costume. I’m thinking of going as an evil nun.
Do I really need another bad habit?
Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
Orange you excited for Halloween?
I was a bit worried about making breakfast on Halloween
But I ain't afraid of no toast.
Jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
Ghosts make the best cheerleaders. They have lots of spirit!
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
I don't trust pumpkins. They're seedy.
No matter what costumes they wear, when the Halloween candy comes out, everyone is a goblin!
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
My new Halloween cookies are bringing everyone back for more!
I call them boo merginues.
This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
Did you get to meet the tallest vampire in the world? People call him Count Everest.
Are any of the Halloween Monsters good at math?
Only if you Count Dracula.
For Halloween, one of my sons dressed up as the clown from IT, and another son as a Twitter hashtag. They asked me my opinion...
I said "Penny wise, pound foolish"
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
I'm going to need to exorcise a lot after all this Halloween candy.
What do Italians eat on Halloween?
Fettuccine Afraid-O
What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
For Halloween I'm going to dress as a donkey with a kilt
I'm going to be an ascot
Went to church on Halloween
Turned out to be a blessing in disguise
What is a jack o lantern's favorite pick up line?
"Darling, you look GOURD-EOUS!!"
Why do skeleton's make such good comedians? They have so many funny bones.
Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are dying to get in!
Enjoy goblin up all your Halloween candy — just don't let it go to waist!
My dad has been making Halloween related puns all morning
He's now asking that I call him the Halloween Pun King.
What do you call Jack-O-Lantern cousins who lift weights together?
Pump Kins
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
Why did the ghost go to the bar? To get some boos.
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow dog."
Although he seems happy and bright, the jack-o-lantern was so sad on Halloween because he’s hollow inside.
