What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.