What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict