What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.