Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
