Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
