How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
