What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.